My life sucks and I want to change it. Great! So, where do I start? What do I do? How am I going to improve things? What can I start with? Let’s do x, y and z and make plans, etc etc.
If you think this way and start taking action, that’s wonderful. You’re doing your job when it comes to being alive and functional. You’re getting up in the morning, groaning and looking into the mirror like a depressed gorilla and asking “ooga booga life suck what do”. Well done.
But today’s blog post isn’t so much about people who take action. Oh no, I’m going to talk about my favourite person (to get mad at). The passive complainers. The whingers. The ones that incessantly scream “My LeGs HuRt” after doing a half squat on a rack with 3 kg on it, aka the bar is a bread stick.
It’s probably one of my greater pet peeves when talking with and helping people out. Someone confides in you, talks about their problems, and then proceeds to do absolutely fuck all about it.
A good example is chicks and acquiring them so they may be potentially introduced to your verified harem club. I’ve heard a lot of guys have a whinge about how girls are a pain in the arse and they always get friendzoned, and women are somehow a bewildering mystery that are incapable of being deciphered, and accessing their vagina requires extraordinary God-tier looks and six packs on top of six packs. Sure those things help, but they don’t get girls by default. But I digress.
I hear all of this, nod and accept the frustration of dating (because dating takes work and can be frustrating), and then I ask “okay, what are you doing about it”
“dunno. Might just play more Guild Wars”
“Ah, indeed. Very astute action taken. I think I know why you can’t get any women”
“While you are quite effective as a healer within your raid team, it doesn’t heal the problem that you have, which is being a little bitch and not doing anything to solve your problems“
Is that too harsh? Hardly. It’s compassionate!
Hear me out.
If you complain about something in your life that cannot be controlled or accounted for, ie. a typhoon is blocking your ability to go outside, or a product you brought is immediately faulty, then okay, got it, vent your frustrations and confide, I’ll be a bro. This is good compassion. You then carry on and do whatever you need to do in life.
But if you’re having a bitch about something that involves your action, your character, your abilities, all that jazz, and you do nothing to change things, then you’re being a little bitch, I will call you a little bitch, and I will tell you to stop bitching until you kill the little bitch, grow up and do something.
That’s compassionate. Why is it compassionate?
Because I’m being honest with your problem. If I lie to you and give you a completely heterosexual hug, I enable your shit behaviour. That’s not compassion, that’s enabling and bad friendship. If I tell you the truth of the matter and call you out on your bullshit, I am actively working to help you solve your problem – which is, not doing anything and general laziness.
I don’t call it out because I’m a dick head – I call it out because I’m a compassionate dick head.
You want to do better or get chicks? Do the work for it. Figure it out, think about how you want to be and capitalize on it. This applies to literally everything in life – writing, dating, exercise, work, money, etc. Things that are within your control ought to be within your control, and complaining when you don’t take action to gain control is a bullshit cop out that should not be tolerated.
And for fucks sake, be fine with the fact that you’ll likely fail on the way to haremdom or whatever it is you’re striving for. Far too many people stretch their ape brains for 5 minutes, fail, and then go back to ape mode. It’s this 0 to 10000% kind of mindset which is so binary and completely antithetical to human functioning and learning.
Failure is not an option – it is an absolute necessity in order to get to a successful position. The fact that you act is a success in itself, so let go of the fact that you’re not perfect. You never were, never will be. And that’s a good thing.
Just the one thing you ought not do – complain and do nothing. It makes everyone around you respect you less, you lose your own self respect, and it gives the enablers more time to feel good about being compassionate on a blanket level, when really they have done nothing but hamper you.
You want girls? Go get them. Do the work and piss off. Leave me be with my coffee. Same with money, jobs, fitness, potato farming..I dunno, I don’t care what you do. It’s your life. Go live it. And if you need some consultation, give me a ring baby.
Love u bye
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