There’s No Hope Unless You Light It

Depression. Sadness. Despair. Potatoes. Furries.

These are the things that you likely feel when you think of the title up above. Good! On the contrary, this post is meant to be another proverbial gut punch to remind you of the fact that there is no hope. Unless of course you learn to light the torch by yourself. So it’s…kinda hopeful sorta?

Metaphors and creative writing aside, what dost thou mean, poverty-stricken swamp Frog?

Well, this is another jab at the self-help gurus out there that like to tell you they know how you ought to live, while simultaneously telling you it’s hidden behind a rather expensive paywall. I don’t have an issue with profiting off your shit, but it better be some good shit.

Unfortunately, most self help is garbage. Including some of my older work, which I have since looked at and said “nah mate”. It’s all fluffy wuffy feel good stuff designed for others to say “I hope that you find your happiness with my program” and then people go off feeling temporarily good, and then they fall into despair and misery again because there is little hope after all. The intent is well meaning, but that’s kind of like giving the thumbs up to a well meaning (now ex) girlfriend who under cooks chicken every time. At some point during the thousand yard stare moments where you are destroying your toilet with thunderous violence from food poisoning, you have to say that enough is enough.

The thing is, the self-help shit usually does not solve problems. It mutes them temporarily. It is also someone else’s method of dealing with problems. Oh, you don’t know what job to get? Well Mr. Alpha Raw Red Pill YouTube like and subscribe guy #35,982 will tell you to just harden your bitch ass up and study engineering or something because it gives money and money is king.

Well, no, wrong. This is a good solution for people who want to be engineers or have made it their life’s goal to acquire currency, aka it is a solid, general materialist approach, but it is not individually catered whatsoever. It’s also absurdly boring and doesn’t examine variables.

So, minor jabbing aside, what is the solution? Again, I refer back to the deification problem, which first needs to really be understood – you cannot figure shit out if you’re obeying the rules of other men/women. That’s part of why life can often feel shitty, because you’re not doing what it is you actually want.

And that’s part of what I mean by things being hopeless. There IS no hope. If you keep looking for an answer outside of yourself and keep asking for an easy out, you will remain hopeless and in the dark, because the candles others give you burn out. You will fall to despair, sadness and depression – because you are tuning in to everyone else except yourself.

So, my suggestion is to fall into darkness and drop the bullshit. Stop listening to others – including me. This is the only piece of advice you honestly need in life to get to where you want to be – to stop listening to what other people think is right for you, and to sit in the dark, on your own, and taking in that hopeless feeling.

Yes, sitting in the dark is fucking terrifying, and it is really tempting to reach out to gurus like my swamp ass and ask what you should do – but you know what happens when you sit in it long enough, and get up every damn day fighting off that darkness?

You get stronger. You also start to learn how to make your own candles and lights. Suddenly, that darkness starts to fade, and a dim light comes into your awareness.

That’s called hope. Genuine, real, hope – and it is formed by you, and you only.

You do not get hope from others. You do not get meaning from others. You do not find the pathway to your happiness and success from others.

You get it from sitting in the dark, fighting it every day, using your mind and thinking hard, and eventually telling the darkness to fuck off. That’s how it forms, and realistically speaking, it’s called developing a pathway filled with things that matter to you.

When I refer to these things, I refer to the fact that people often feel lost in their life and don’t really know what they want. Some people find what they like very early on and latch to for the rest of their lives. Others find it, forget about it because society dun no like whatchu do, then end up lost. Others have no fucking clue – they’re just wandering post adolescence, confused as all hell and desperately latching onto whatever proverbial deity gives them their meaning.

This is a real problem, and the solution is in front of you – stop listening to what others tell you is right, and start thinking about what is right for you. Go out and try things you’re interested in. Write stuff. Date. Do work out stuff. Try different jobs and drop them without hesitation if they don’t satisfy you. Do things, and through it, think about what it is that gave you life. Pay attention to that and dig deeper – keep figuring shit out.

Even if on the off chance that you don’t find something monumental by the time you power bomb yourself into a coffin, you at least lived an interesting life. And isn’t that what life is about? Interesting things? This is my biggest pet peeve in dating, actually. I’ve met a lot of women over the past year and almost every one of them were astonishingly dull. No, your office job is not interesting, nor is your obsession with Netflix. Jesus christ you fucking people..

Anyway, I slipped and my neurosis came out, back on topic. Don’t be boring, stop following the status quo. Rise above the monotonous, dreary every day life of go work, drink, bang resentful wife, sleep, repeat – especially if you just went that route because you listened to your shitty High School teacher. Go do interesting shit and figure yourself out – at least that way, while you’re in the dark you’re lighting some candles on the way and making an interesting life for yourself.

And of course, if other people judge you for your actions, remember to tell them to get fucked. Your ice cream is yours and no one can take it away from you unless by force. In which, after fighting darkness for so long, you ought to have the balls to say “I’d like to see you try”.

So there’s my advice – don’t take advice. Go sit in your shitty dark hole for a while, understand that there is no hope, and no one is going to save you (though the good ones will inevitably encourage you to keep fighting).

Eventually, that dark hole will explode in bright, scorching flames, and out of the flames the once afraid, but iron willed human will rise, with all shadows extinguished and with a will of steel.

That’s it. I wish you the very best.

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9 thoughts on “There’s No Hope Unless You Light It

  1. Just YES. SO MUCH YES to this post, Mr Frog. I love it. As someone who regularly sits in her own darkness thinking “WTF?” and feeling completely useless, I am little by little finding that I can figure sh*t out on my own. Most days I fail miserably and I compensate by eating my body weight in fried foods…but sometimes – just sometimes – I succeed and I move that little bit forward in life which feels like a massive win. Keep writing, you awesome Frog. Loving it xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks. It’s all a process. I didn’t come to these conclusions by sitting in an ivory tower, that’s for sure. So you’ll be fine, little by little.

      Will do! Ensure you share and spread my work too.

      All the best,


      Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m really loving and enjoying your writing lately. I have come back and re-read “the deification problem” piece a few more times than I care to admit 😐 and this one was freaking good too. So self-empowering. I just got out of a five year-old toxic relationship recently, so your words are truly helping me. Thank you again, keep up the good work! Looking forward to read more from you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Most welcome. Re-read as much as you like – that is one of my more complicated pieces which is a culmination of many, many hours of thinking.

      Relationship breakdowns are a wonderful bag of pain and healing. You’ll be fine though, time is the only ingredient necessary.

      Make sure to like, reblog and share if you can, too!

      I wish you the very best,


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