Frog’s Guide to Living Life

How to live a happy life.

Considering my deep sense of empathy and compassion towards all living things, and in particular my fellow humans, I have decided to write a brief, fun and likely terrifying guide on how to live a happy life, condensed into a point based form so that you can take notes easily and keep your own mortality in mind in simplified ways. This list is by no means exhaustive but it might give you the basics to what it means to human it up on this green, often chaotic, planet that we sit on called Earth. Here we go.

  • Eat good food, but balance the (occasional) junk with some healthy veggies and fruits. This will keep you satiated in the moments of craving exceptionally high amounts of sugar or when you have hit rock bottom and require the dark embrace of chocolate, and then back down to “functioning adult mode” once you get over that urge or climb out of that pit we call despair. It also keeps your entire body fueled efficiently.
  • Exercise and move. It is fun to move in an MMO, but it is not so fun to be incapable of moving as your complete lack of exercise and activity in reality over several years has crippled your body and turned it into an amorphous blob of decaying matter. Do something fun with that decaying matter. Walk, walk joyfully, box the air with a VR set, lift and drop heavy things, chase down your cheating husband. I dunno, just do something.
  • Sleep well. Everyone’s different so there’s not going to be a number, but poor sleep leads to a sleepy brain, and a sleepy brain quickly concedes to the terrifying abyss of nihilistic despair if, or when, it decides to invade your life. Stay well rested.
  • Think a lot and question what people tell you, but remember to think about what’s in front of you and what is real, and try not to mix that up with the illusions you’ve concocted in your mind, or invisible arguments with your enemies in the shower. This will not lead you to success in the dating world or in life. Speaking of which..
  • He/she is never coming back. They’re gone, and that door is forever shut, but I digress..
  • There’s no such thing as “the one”. There is no soulmate, there are just lovely and not so lovely people out there. If your spouse leaves you for another man/woman/ideology/VR experience, realize that they were just another person after all and, like clockwork, you can find someone else eventually. Choose wisely, exercise and stay in shape, but most of all, stay real.
  • Identify the fact that one day you are going to die, and no matter how many books you read, vitamins and medicines you take, or yoga sessions and meditative resorts you attend, you cannot escape the inevitable secession of your own natural life. There is no escape.
  • Recognize the terror of knowing your own mortality and that for every second you’re alive, the clock is tick tocking away. Tick tock.
  • Laugh more.
  • Through the embracing of that terror, come to terms with mortality and slowly learn to accept it. Start thinking about your life and what matters. Start letting go of trying to control everything. It’s impossible.
  • Start to pursue the things you care about. You’ve only got so much time.
  • Learn to really love the people and things you have in life. It’s all gonna go away, so love it now. You’ll never be this young again.
  • Realize that sweating it over the little things, over the heartbreak, over the loss of loved ones, isn’t a conducive way to live a life. Realize that appreciating and being grateful for having the chance to experience those things is what actually matters. Cherish your memories, close those old doors, and move forward. Slowly if you have to.
  • Understand that there really is no point in fighting for insane ideologies unless they actively provide human flourishing on an individual level, or when someone threatens your freedom to do whatever the hell you want. And even then, chill the fuck out – you can’t reason for shit when you’re angry.
  • Meditate sometimes.
  • Learn to have, and enjoy, sex and sexual experiences. Why on Earth would you not?
  • Look up at the sky when you forget about everything I just wrote, and take into account how god damned insanely huge this entire existence is. Let that sink in, and let it give you perspective.
  • Spend less than you make.
  • Understand that the toxic air that is blown out of the mouths of cynics is not worth the time or energy to take seriously, as in the end, they’ll be dead just like you, and the best way to get back at them is to live a damn good life.
  • Try to save at least 20% of your monthly income.
  • Remember that humans have been on this insane planet for eons and eons and no one has ever given an appropriate proof or answer as to how any of this came to be, so don’t worry about it, live your life and try to make a fun little legacy of your own. Unless you’re a philosopher like me and enjoy having frequent, existentially terrifying phases of thought.
  • Stay debt free.
  • Realize that the power of cynics turns into absolutely nothing when you simply stand up to them and tell them to, kindly, fuck off. It’s all in your head, and the door to that mental prison never had a lock.
  • Keep a journal and write often.
  • Remember that in your own mind, you’re always alone. But existentially, we’re in this together.
  • Clean your room well.

And finally, enjoy your coffee and smell the roses. Look at the roses and see how quickly they come and go in existence. Let that be a reminder of how quickly your life can vanish, too. Aneurysms are a thing.

Accept it, and make every second count. Live a good life, and do it for yourself, please. The shit in the world really isn’t worth the squeeze.


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