Readers of my blog and newcomers (welcome!) have likely encountered many people who have espoused extraordinary ideas and fantastical, idealistic claims. They exaggerate, use hyperbolic language, talk a big game and in general, tend to “appear” to have a lot of self-confidence and self-reassurance. Now this is lovely..assuming it’s real, but what’s important to keep in mind is that what they, and conversely, you say, may be grand, but what your result is, is what matters.
To write about myself a little, I say a lot of things. Some things controversial, some things not so controversial, but otherwise when I say I’m going to do something or I believe in a principle, I follow through with it. I made the decision a few months ago to do daily yoga. I haven’t missed a day since making that decision, even with the annoying pain in my shoulder that’s been hounding me recently.
I also made the decision to start dating again, and, like clockwork, my actions followed through – I’ve been on several dates and have plans for more in the near future. And recently, I made the decision to start writing more again, and..well, here we are.
The point is not to toot my own horn (though I damn well earned the tooting!). The point is that I follow through with the things I say, the ideas I hold and the principles I espouse. There’s metric tonnes of evidence for it, and while other people may not recognize that I do them (and ask yourself why does that matter?), I recognize it, and that is the most important point, because it reinforces my own self esteem and self worth. I’m honest to the most important person in the world – me! And who better to have a good reputation with, other than yourself? It’s vital for survival.
Your ideas may be solid, and I’ve spoken to many people in my life that have fantastic ideas, whether it be in a productive sense, on a philosophical level, etc. That’s great. But my question following it is “okay, but have you done anything with it?”. Generally people who talk a lot but don’t do much after the fact don’t have a lot of self worth, though they tend to be very vocal. I say bollocks to that – follow through with what you say and think about how you’re going to apply it to your life. A good way to do this is to sit down and write a journal – ask yourself things like “How do I feel about myself?” and write out what you legitimately feel. Then ask “What do I want that I’m not getting?” and “How can I get it?” . Be reflective, and don’t distort it.
It’s not about getting approval or disapproval from others, either; it’s getting approval from yourself. Now much of this is easier said than done, and that very much has to do with the difficulty of integration, but you can still do it. Have courage!
Self-esteem is about your reputation with yourself. Work on that reputation by following through with what you believe – don’t lie to yourself. Be honest with where you are at, then ask what can be done to improve, and act. Without the action, you’re essentially lying to yourself and living in a dream world – and like all dreams, they eventually end and you wake up, back in reality.
Instead, make that dream a reality, so when you wake up, you’re living the dream. All it takes is the will to act, to follow through, and to take accountability for your screw ups. That’s honesty, and in the long run, you’ll be all the better for it because hey – warts and all, you respect yourself for giving things a go.
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